Ever met a fast talker? Maybe you are one. Ever hear someone use a lot of filler like "uh... um..." or a lot of crutch words and phrases like, "you know," or "so" or "like?" You ever wonder why people do that?
The short answer is that they're afraid of being interrupted. After a while it just becomes a habit. They don't want air in the conversation because they're worried the person they're talking to will take that as a cue to cut in. But the reality is that through voice tone and body language you can much more effectively tell someone that you're not done yet than if you hem and haw for half a minute as you think of how to finish your sentence.
And if you do get interrupted, so what? Just pick up where you left off. It's not the end of the world. Just don't interrupt other people. In fact, talking less and listening more is a good way to build rapport with an audience. And the less you talk, the less they know about you, thus increasing your air of mystery. Bonus!
So stop worrying about being interrupted, slow down, and take your time with your sentences. Not everything that comes out of your mouth is going to be a razor sharp display of Oscar Wilde worthy wit, but you can at least remove all the white noise and crutches to make it sound smoother and more confident.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Out and About
A recent conversation reminded me of something. First, a little background.
I've been a nerd for as long as I can remember. And that carried with it a certain social stigma. I always assumed that it was just because I was a nerd. For a while, I just sort of resigned myself to it. Around high school I started coming out of my shell and in college I really transformed myself.
But some aren't so fortunate. And that's when I noticed a pattern. A lot of people who are socially awkward or play the wallflower harbor a not-so-secret resentment of the people who are more outgoing and popular than them. I've met them in high school, college, and as adults. And without exception, every single one of them are giant douchebags. Their mistake is similar to the one I made: they're mixing up causality.
It's not your hobbies or your looks that determine whether or not you're socially adjusted. It's whether or not you actually socialize. People who are popular and well-liked are that way because they go out and talk to people. They know that not everyone will like them, and they're cool with that. A hundred snubs and rejections is nothing to them compared to the value of making another friend.
I recall an individual I argued with once about my lifestyle as a pickup artist. This guy was a piece of work. He loudly boasted about what a nice guy he was, and how much better a person he was than me based on his straw man characterization of my beliefs and lifestyle. I would provide scientific studies backing my claims, and he bragged about not reading them. I extended him olive branches, trying to be nice, and he hurled insults at me, even accusing me of being a potential serial killer and rapist. He was rude, hostile, condescending, arrogant, holier-than-thou, sexist and just generally an unpleasant human being. Does it come as any surprise then that he didn't believe it was possible to build up social skills like actual skills and cultivate charisma? That he was utterly fatalist and defeatist about social situations? That his evaluation of people's social status was based largely on how pretty they were or how much money they had? That he admitted he didn't even try because he didn't want to go through life constantly being rejected and that people should approach him instead of the other way around?
The fact of the matter is that your social life is dependent on you. Your successes are your responsibility and your failures are your fault. A magician must be able to assume a leadership roll because when performing, you are taking control of the conversation. And to do that, you have to have social experience. That means putting the cards, coins, and gimmicks away and just socializing.
I bring this up because I see an alarming number of young magicians who have never performed for a live audience. They're afraid of rejection. They don't know how to handle it emotionally. If you're one of them, it's time you understand that the reason you're not more popular is because you haven't put the work in. Some of you may have some excuses lined up, but I can say with certainty that they're all crap. It comes down to the fact that you're not trying or you gave up. Yes, it's a cliche, but it is true that you miss 100% of the shots you never take.
So put down the cards for a week and for the love of George Romero, just go out and talk to somebody.
I've been a nerd for as long as I can remember. And that carried with it a certain social stigma. I always assumed that it was just because I was a nerd. For a while, I just sort of resigned myself to it. Around high school I started coming out of my shell and in college I really transformed myself.
But some aren't so fortunate. And that's when I noticed a pattern. A lot of people who are socially awkward or play the wallflower harbor a not-so-secret resentment of the people who are more outgoing and popular than them. I've met them in high school, college, and as adults. And without exception, every single one of them are giant douchebags. Their mistake is similar to the one I made: they're mixing up causality.
It's not your hobbies or your looks that determine whether or not you're socially adjusted. It's whether or not you actually socialize. People who are popular and well-liked are that way because they go out and talk to people. They know that not everyone will like them, and they're cool with that. A hundred snubs and rejections is nothing to them compared to the value of making another friend.
I recall an individual I argued with once about my lifestyle as a pickup artist. This guy was a piece of work. He loudly boasted about what a nice guy he was, and how much better a person he was than me based on his straw man characterization of my beliefs and lifestyle. I would provide scientific studies backing my claims, and he bragged about not reading them. I extended him olive branches, trying to be nice, and he hurled insults at me, even accusing me of being a potential serial killer and rapist. He was rude, hostile, condescending, arrogant, holier-than-thou, sexist and just generally an unpleasant human being. Does it come as any surprise then that he didn't believe it was possible to build up social skills like actual skills and cultivate charisma? That he was utterly fatalist and defeatist about social situations? That his evaluation of people's social status was based largely on how pretty they were or how much money they had? That he admitted he didn't even try because he didn't want to go through life constantly being rejected and that people should approach him instead of the other way around?
The fact of the matter is that your social life is dependent on you. Your successes are your responsibility and your failures are your fault. A magician must be able to assume a leadership roll because when performing, you are taking control of the conversation. And to do that, you have to have social experience. That means putting the cards, coins, and gimmicks away and just socializing.
I bring this up because I see an alarming number of young magicians who have never performed for a live audience. They're afraid of rejection. They don't know how to handle it emotionally. If you're one of them, it's time you understand that the reason you're not more popular is because you haven't put the work in. Some of you may have some excuses lined up, but I can say with certainty that they're all crap. It comes down to the fact that you're not trying or you gave up. Yes, it's a cliche, but it is true that you miss 100% of the shots you never take.
So put down the cards for a week and for the love of George Romero, just go out and talk to somebody.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Anger Management
Have you ever had a tough spectator or even a heckler who got really smug with you? Maybe you flashed something and they spend the rest of the show blurting out whatever theory enters their skull. Or maybe they didn't like you taking their spotlight and are trying whatever cheap shot they can think of to get your goat. Doesn't that piss you off?
Here's the good news. There's nothing wrong with thinking that. I've had a couple of tough spectators and even a heckler or two whom I wanted to beat down with a hammer made out of concentrated hatred. I've had fantasies of slashing tires, busting heads and kneecaps, and issuing the kind of threats that would make a man sleep with the lights on for the rest of his life.
But I never acted on it. Every person has a little voice in the back of their head that tells you to eliminate competition to secure your place in the pecking order. It's that little devil on your shoulder whispering, "Destroy him." My dogs have no choice but to listen to that voice because they're dogs. But I'm sentient, capable of abstract thought and second guessing my impulses. So are you.
You can do a lot about your frustration and anger by reminding yourself that those emotional responses are something everyone has to deal with. It doesn't make you a bad person to think of these things. Acting on them does. The curious thing about inner demons is that when you drag them into the light and objectify them, they lose their power over you.
So go ahead and have that fantasy of keying that douchebag's car. Enjoy that mental image of your fist in his face. But keep it in the private theater of your mind. Remember that you hear the, "Destroy him," voice and know better than to listen to it. A tough spectator probably isn't out to get you, so he's not really a threat. Just a guy you haven't won over. A heckler on the other hand has heard that voice from the inner demon and he didn't have the willpower, self-awareness, or insight needed to ignore it. You've already risen above, so refusing to let your demon do battle with his will give you the advantage every time.
Here's the good news. There's nothing wrong with thinking that. I've had a couple of tough spectators and even a heckler or two whom I wanted to beat down with a hammer made out of concentrated hatred. I've had fantasies of slashing tires, busting heads and kneecaps, and issuing the kind of threats that would make a man sleep with the lights on for the rest of his life.
But I never acted on it. Every person has a little voice in the back of their head that tells you to eliminate competition to secure your place in the pecking order. It's that little devil on your shoulder whispering, "Destroy him." My dogs have no choice but to listen to that voice because they're dogs. But I'm sentient, capable of abstract thought and second guessing my impulses. So are you.
You can do a lot about your frustration and anger by reminding yourself that those emotional responses are something everyone has to deal with. It doesn't make you a bad person to think of these things. Acting on them does. The curious thing about inner demons is that when you drag them into the light and objectify them, they lose their power over you.
So go ahead and have that fantasy of keying that douchebag's car. Enjoy that mental image of your fist in his face. But keep it in the private theater of your mind. Remember that you hear the, "Destroy him," voice and know better than to listen to it. A tough spectator probably isn't out to get you, so he's not really a threat. Just a guy you haven't won over. A heckler on the other hand has heard that voice from the inner demon and he didn't have the willpower, self-awareness, or insight needed to ignore it. You've already risen above, so refusing to let your demon do battle with his will give you the advantage every time.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Silence, Magic and Music
Another mini-post. I recalled an old quote that goes, "All form of art endeavor to be more like music." It's an interesting observation. Regardless of how much you agree or disagree with it, consider an important part of writing melodies: rests, that is places where an instrument doesn't play any notes, are just as critical as the actual tones themselves. Think of that start-stop rhythm in Roxanne by The Police. Or the iconic riff from Smoke on the Water.
Actors call pauses in dialog beats. In the play or screenplay, a beat is usually indicating by an ellipsis (...). It's hard to point out a good example of the use of beats as you're not supposed to consciously notice them. Though I will say for a bad example, watch any movie Kristen Stewart is in.
Make it your homework to watch some really good movies this week and watch out for actors using silence, beats, and pauses to subtly increase the drama.
Actors call pauses in dialog beats. In the play or screenplay, a beat is usually indicating by an ellipsis (...). It's hard to point out a good example of the use of beats as you're not supposed to consciously notice them. Though I will say for a bad example, watch any movie Kristen Stewart is in.
Make it your homework to watch some really good movies this week and watch out for actors using silence, beats, and pauses to subtly increase the drama.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Horror and Vulnerability
I stumbled across an old blog I used to read but lost track of sometime a year ago. Jack Monahan's blog on game design specifically. He does little "reboots" of games, trying to point out flaws in the design and illustrating suggestions for how to fix them. Even if you're not a game designer, it's interesting to read to learn more about aesthetics and practical considerations in media. Anyway, here's a link to the article he posted that got me thinking today in which he talks about a design reboot of Clive Barker's Jericho:
Gaussworks
And this quote in particular got my eye when he described the characters in the game:
Stop and think about that for a second. Could there be a problem of contrast in your own performances? Especially if you're doing bizarre magic. Just let that stew for a while and ask yourself honestly if you really have the right look for what you're doing.
Gaussworks
And this quote in particular got my eye when he described the characters in the game:
What's horrifying about these gothic sulks having to deal with the end of the world, aren't all their own apartments furnished in the same style as the oozing rivers of blood and hellscape they now traverse? In other words, the team seems to be lacking dramatic contrast to their environment. Far from being put out and suggesting fear and terror as appropriate responses, they seem at home.
Stop and think about that for a second. Could there be a problem of contrast in your own performances? Especially if you're doing bizarre magic. Just let that stew for a while and ask yourself honestly if you really have the right look for what you're doing.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Who You Are vs. What's Expected
This may come as a surprise to some of you, but as of late I find myself strangely fascinated by Lady Gaga. I'm ambivalent about her music, and think she's rather full of herself, but I can't deny that she's made pop stars interesting again. For the sake of fairness and expressing an open mind, I listened to her most recent album and found that all of the songs featuring her "be yourself" message and heavy on bombastic self-empowerment were the worst songs on the album. It got me thinking.
Who we are is not the person we project to every person. You are not the same person to your mother that you are to your lover. You are not the same person to your boss that you are to your dog. There's nothing wrong with that in and of itself. The Japanese built their whole culture and society around the idea that there is reality as you perceive it and as how everyone else filters it. They even have unique words for this: honne and tatamae respectively. Neither one is inherently more true than the other, they're just two sides of the same coin.
Somewhere along the way, I began to see how these two concepts relate to one another. Some magicians are not in this to become working pros. It's just something they like to do. And that's fine, but there's still an interesting thing happening. Magician You and Regular You are not the same person. I consider myself an actor as magicians go. I portray a character. But I accept that reality. There are people I've seen who say they just want to be themselves, but around a pretty girl or as soon as you put a deck of cards in their hands, they start acting like a completely different person. It's weird. And more often than not, this other persona comes across as a bit uncanny. It doesn't feel like a person. Just the shadow of a person.
What do I think is happening? An unnecessary clash of honne and tatamae. These people are a lot like Lady Gaga who has actually fought to avoid being photographed out of her makeup and costumes. There is the reality that you perceive, your honne, and it is conflicting with the rest of the world's tatamae because you are trying to become more like the tatamae.
This is just a theory of course. I'm not an actual psychologist or sociologist. But ask yourself: Is the way I'm acting now a part of how a perceive myself? Or am I hiding parts of myself behind a different facade to avoid any negative social happenstances?
Who we are is not the person we project to every person. You are not the same person to your mother that you are to your lover. You are not the same person to your boss that you are to your dog. There's nothing wrong with that in and of itself. The Japanese built their whole culture and society around the idea that there is reality as you perceive it and as how everyone else filters it. They even have unique words for this: honne and tatamae respectively. Neither one is inherently more true than the other, they're just two sides of the same coin.
Somewhere along the way, I began to see how these two concepts relate to one another. Some magicians are not in this to become working pros. It's just something they like to do. And that's fine, but there's still an interesting thing happening. Magician You and Regular You are not the same person. I consider myself an actor as magicians go. I portray a character. But I accept that reality. There are people I've seen who say they just want to be themselves, but around a pretty girl or as soon as you put a deck of cards in their hands, they start acting like a completely different person. It's weird. And more often than not, this other persona comes across as a bit uncanny. It doesn't feel like a person. Just the shadow of a person.
What do I think is happening? An unnecessary clash of honne and tatamae. These people are a lot like Lady Gaga who has actually fought to avoid being photographed out of her makeup and costumes. There is the reality that you perceive, your honne, and it is conflicting with the rest of the world's tatamae because you are trying to become more like the tatamae.
This is just a theory of course. I'm not an actual psychologist or sociologist. But ask yourself: Is the way I'm acting now a part of how a perceive myself? Or am I hiding parts of myself behind a different facade to avoid any negative social happenstances?
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Guest Post: Brandon Porterfield on Theme Magic
I want to share with you guys a story I heard a few months back of a magician living in Japan who had to do a theme party based on subject matter he at first was only roughly familiar with. I'm going to let Brandon Porterfield tell you the story in his own words and hopefully this will teach you a little something about how to make themes work without getting into all that hackneyed, "This represents this, and that represents this other thing," nonsense.
"I was invited to a children’s birthday party to perform magic for an hour. The age was between 7 and 11 years old. For each gig I accept I ask a series of questions to better prepare myself specifically for that performance. In this case the questions came back with an unexpected answer. There was a theme for this party: Pokemon.
"Each character in Pokemon has their own special ability and traits. Some of those directly translate to effects we try to portray with our magic.
I began the show with some of my normal routines adjusted to suit the short attention span of kids. The children were really enjoying the show thus far so I was on the home stretch. For my final 20 minutes I focused on the theme of the party.
"I began by bringing up one of the 'pokemon fans' to help me. I pretended to know nothing of the funny looking creatures that were posted around the house and on the balloons. I had the boy chose a card, sign it, then I ripped off a corner. He blew on it and thought of his favorite pokemon. He kept blowing on the corner in my hand while I asked the other children who the characters were and what were they capable of? Soon enough, the corner was gone from my hand, and was stuck in the mouth of a fox like animal on the wall. This began a myriad of questions and excitement.
"I followed this by asking if there were any 'pikiman' (on purpose) that were able to move things with their mind? I got a very enthuastic answer of a character named 'Kadabra.' They explained that he is able to bend spoons. So I got a few spoons and held one in my hand. I asked the spectators to yell out his name as loud as they could. They began to chant the name and watch as the spoon slowly bent then broke into two pieces. There was no doubt of what happened, because they’ve seen the character do it before. I simply showed them what they already expected and wanted to see.
"Finally I closed by addressing the name I heard over and over again throughout the night: 'Pikachu.' I asked what he does and why is he so popular. He of course shocks others with electricity. I asked the birthday boy, 'if you had that power, who would YOU shock?' I brought up him, and a few others to help him. I had each person hold hands and concentrate. I placed the birthday boy at the end with his 'target' next to him, each holding up their fingers in preparation to touch.
"I got on the other end of the daisy chain and all together (the whole room) we began to chant 'pika, pika, pika.' Each time we said the word the two boys at the end were to touch their fingers together. After a few moments and a very loud room, the 'target' jumped back and screamed. This in conjunction with the visible and slightly audible shock created a truly wonderful moment.
"The magic was all in their minds. They had all the information necessary to make the show a success. They knew the characters and their abilities. I simply played upon those established ideas and tried to create a memorable experience. "
"I was invited to a children’s birthday party to perform magic for an hour. The age was between 7 and 11 years old. For each gig I accept I ask a series of questions to better prepare myself specifically for that performance. In this case the questions came back with an unexpected answer. There was a theme for this party: Pokemon.
"Each character in Pokemon has their own special ability and traits. Some of those directly translate to effects we try to portray with our magic.
I began the show with some of my normal routines adjusted to suit the short attention span of kids. The children were really enjoying the show thus far so I was on the home stretch. For my final 20 minutes I focused on the theme of the party.
"I began by bringing up one of the 'pokemon fans' to help me. I pretended to know nothing of the funny looking creatures that were posted around the house and on the balloons. I had the boy chose a card, sign it, then I ripped off a corner. He blew on it and thought of his favorite pokemon. He kept blowing on the corner in my hand while I asked the other children who the characters were and what were they capable of? Soon enough, the corner was gone from my hand, and was stuck in the mouth of a fox like animal on the wall. This began a myriad of questions and excitement.
"I followed this by asking if there were any 'pikiman' (on purpose) that were able to move things with their mind? I got a very enthuastic answer of a character named 'Kadabra.' They explained that he is able to bend spoons. So I got a few spoons and held one in my hand. I asked the spectators to yell out his name as loud as they could. They began to chant the name and watch as the spoon slowly bent then broke into two pieces. There was no doubt of what happened, because they’ve seen the character do it before. I simply showed them what they already expected and wanted to see.
"Finally I closed by addressing the name I heard over and over again throughout the night: 'Pikachu.' I asked what he does and why is he so popular. He of course shocks others with electricity. I asked the birthday boy, 'if you had that power, who would YOU shock?' I brought up him, and a few others to help him. I had each person hold hands and concentrate. I placed the birthday boy at the end with his 'target' next to him, each holding up their fingers in preparation to touch.
"I got on the other end of the daisy chain and all together (the whole room) we began to chant 'pika, pika, pika.' Each time we said the word the two boys at the end were to touch their fingers together. After a few moments and a very loud room, the 'target' jumped back and screamed. This in conjunction with the visible and slightly audible shock created a truly wonderful moment.
"The magic was all in their minds. They had all the information necessary to make the show a success. They knew the characters and their abilities. I simply played upon those established ideas and tried to create a memorable experience. "
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