Sentimentality

I play guitar. Badly, but I still play it. Yeah I know, a shaggy white guy who plays guitar. Big surprise! I used to hang out with other guitarists online and off. A situation that repeatedly came up was a guy would ask what songs he could play at a party to get the attention of girls. First of all, I have no problem using music as a way to break the ice and make people come to you. What I did have a problem with was the suggestions. One that came up without fail was Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton. If you don't know, Clapton wrote that song as a catharsis after his baby son fell from the window of a high rise apartment and died. All these guitarists would recommend playing the song for a girl and then telling her the story behind it. I always had one question for them: "Have you ever known the touch of a woman?"

There's something distinctly crass about exploiting tragedy for personal satisfaction. And yet, as we pursue magic as an art this sort of situation is inevitable. Time and time again, you'll see hacks who imagine that to be deep, they need to dial the personal tragedy up to 11. Why? My best guess is that sentimentality is much easier to articulate than actual sentiment.

What the difference? Sentiment is how we feel about the things that happen to us. It's sublime and complex, but usually understated when expressed in words. We have a massive variety of words to describe our emotions, the nature of them and the intensity with which we feel them. Some languages even have words to express feelings that others don't. An example would be the Russian word "toska," which refers to a longing for something that isn't there and which can give way to a general malaise or even full-blown depression depending on the strength of the longing.

Sentimentality on the other hand is the exaggeration of emotion. It's melodramatic, overblown and extravagant. Cheesy in other words. I little cheese is good for you now and again, but too much of it leaves you fat, sick and blocked up like... it's better if I end this metaphor now.

Sentimentality is easier to write because it doesn't require as much subtlety. A few touches of lurid language here and there, some outrageous metaphors and analogies, and there you go. So easy a monkey could do it. Which is a phrase that I always considered to be an excellent example of damning with faint praise.

Schlocky sentimentality may get you some nods here and there. There's a reason schmaltzy greeting cards sell so well. But if you want to actually make a strong impression on people, you're going to have to try a lot harder than that.